Aunt Dollie's Look of Longing

     I was almost to church that morning when I heard His whisper. I call it a whisper, but it was more like an overwhelming need to do something different than what I'd planned. I was alone in my car, so I said, "Well I figured church would be the most important place you'd want me to be today. If not then where am I supposed to go?"As soon as those words tumbled out I looked to my left and saw that I was passing the local hospital. Suddenly I knew, that was were the heavenly Father wanted me to be! I turned around in the next parking lot and slowly drove back to the place where my first two grandsons had been born. Who do I know that is in here?.... Then I remembered. My mom had called a few days ago and told me that Aunt Dollie was in the hospital. She said they would be sending her to stay at a rest home in the next day or two.

     Of all dad's family Dollie was most special to me. She had to be up in her late eighties by now and she had recently lost her husband. Neither mom, myself or any of my brothers and sisters had gone to her husband's funeral. Dollie is dad's sister, however dad had passed away over twenty years ago. The rest of dad's family didn't call any of us when Dollie's husband died. I really don't know why, other than maybe they all thought someone else had called us.

      Although I saw first hand how bad it hurt my mom, I didn't realize that it had hurt me too. Now her husband was not my favorite uncle, but I would have been there for Aunt Dollie's sake.  For this reason I had been feeling bitterness in my heart for all of "them" except Aunt Dollie and her daughter. I don't know what happens to me when I see my mama cry. I guess because I know how tender and kind she is to all and then I see her so sad and wounded I just want to punch someone!  Well, that is how I had been feeling and I knew that the Lord did not want me to be having such a hard heart. Little did I realize that morning how the Father was getting ready to give me a special gift!

     I often got to stay with Aunt Dollie some in the summer. She was always good to me and gave me beautiful clothes handed down from her daughter. Sometimes she would buy me a new outfit and I especially loved the shoes she would buy me. Having more than one pair of shoes to wear, back then, was a real status quo. (I still like shoes a little too much !) We always considered her to be well off like some of the others in dad's family. Not us though. We were so poor, and it must have looked rather odd to people, who noticed me in my nice clothes walking beside my three brothers in their patched up jeans and threadbare shoes.

     My heart told me to take my bible inside the hospital and it didn't take long for me to make my way to her room. She was alone and seemed to be resting while sleeping. I placed my bible and purse on the chair and went to stand beside her bed. She did not really look as bad as I'd expected. 

     On their birthdays my mom would drive Dollie and her sister out to lunch. The three of them had a good time together. I'm rather sure it was a disappointment to the sister when Dolly wanted to go to my house for her birthday. I made soup and cornbread and felt pleased that she had chosen me over the usual birthday lunch at a restaurant. I'll never forget that day because just outside the window, while we were eating, I saw my  little hummingbird moth making his usual trek through the flower garden. I pointed him out to her and she thought it was a large bee. I said no. Just watch for a minute and you'll see his tongue dipping in the flower for the sweet nectar. She got so excited when she saw it sip just like a humming bird. She said I had just shown her something she had never before seen! I ended up feeling more like it was my birthday just because she made me feel special.

     I looked down at her small frame sleeping on that raised bed. She looked frail. The recent loss of her husband had taken a heavy toil on her. I didn't want to wake her, so I just stood there whispering a prayer for a few minutes.


     When I opened my eyes she gave me her special smile and said," My Rosie." She was the only person in the family to call me that name. I kissed her and told her I loved her. I talked a little about her daughter and grandchildren. She didn't talk, but nodded her head. Suddenly, I saw it in her eyes. The look of longing to leave this world. I felt there was no need for me to talk, but to share with her the reason the Lord had impressed upon me to stop and see her.

     I picked up my bible, showed it to her, and asked her if she wanted me to read her something. She smiled and shook her head yes. It brought back my memories of bible study and prayer in her living room when I was a young girl. I do not know why I chose this scripture.

     Revelation 3:20-21     "Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne."

     After this I held her hand and prayed with her. I really don't remember the prayer, except that I asked God to give her peace. She pulled my hand to her lips and kissed it. I kissed her and told her I loved her. 

     About five minutes passed and she suddenly pulled free of my hand and started waving excitedly, like she saw someone up near the ceiling in the right corner of the room. After that she never came back to me. She would nod her head and smile like she understood words that I couldn't hear. As minutes passed it seems she was seeing more loved ones, because she was waving and turning her head all the way across the ceiling.

     I never asked her who she saw. I guess I didn't want to intrude because she seemed so happy.
Maybe it wasn't loved ones she saw. Maybe it was the Savior! Or it could have been her own personal  angel band!             

     I left the room after this and met her daughter and gran - daughter at the elevator. We talked a little and her daughter said the doctor was giving a good report on her mother and she would probably be released the next day to go to an assisted living place. I just told her I would be praying for them.

     About two hours passed and Aunt Dollie went home to be with the Lord. Her look of longing had been satisfied and I am sure she smiled all the way home!